War and Cake

An award-winning, hilarious, imaginative and witty one-act comedy for a cast of 8 teenagers, by Rob Hockley

The plot

War and Cake deals with the realities and fantasies of young love and the chaos that ensues when Ares, mighty god of war, is challenged by Venus, goddess of human relationship resources, to bring two people together. It should be an easy enough task but hampered by his complete lack of human understanding and desperate to win at any cost, Ares finds each of his increasingly bizarre schemes foiled as Gwen's Jane Austen inspired imagination, Michael's crippling fear of rejection and the well-meaning help of their exasperated friends, combine to produce disaster at every turn.
Easy to stage and ideal for one-act competitions.

The characters

Ares, god of war: As arrogant and blindingly stupid as only war could be.

Venus, goddess of love: Now restyled “human relationship resources”. She uses her guile and knowledge to try to change Ares' outlook on life.

Gwen: A teenage girl. She yearns for Michael but is too unsure of herself and wrapped up in a romantic fantasy world to take any effective action.

Helen: Gwen's friend. Although more experienced and confident, she is frustrated by Gwen's inability to live in the world as she sees it.

Jemma: Carefree and easy going. She is everything that Gwen is not and is the imagined rival of Gwen for the affections of Michael.

Michael: A pleasant, perfectly clueless teenage boy who is terrified of being rejected.

Colin: Michael's friend. He tries to mentor Michael in the ways of the world even though he has no more experience or insight.

Alexander: The avatar of Ares. Pompous, handsome, vain and arrogant. He neither knows nor cares anything about people.

Download a sample of the script

You can download a few scenes here to get a feel for the play.

The sample starts right at the beginning with Ares and Venus in the school canteen (because... why wouldn't they be in a school canteen...) Ares has just declared victory over pizza.
Read on...

Warandcakesamplescript Pdf

PDF – 551.3 KB 6 downloads

Details

  • Suitable for 11+ KS3, KS4 & YA. Ideally 13-16 (ish)
  • The roles of God/Goddess could be played older
  • Running time is approx. 45 mins 
  • A cast of 8 (4 female / 4 male - but genders can be altered if required)
  • Costumes & staging are fairly simple - a few tables and chairs is the minimum.

  • You can, of course, change gender if it works within the confines of the script. Please do not alter the script at all.

  • Props: a couple of lightsabers are required, but mostly you will need food for many lunches, including pizza, a sandwich (see script for mystical qualities and content), plenty of yogurt, crisps and a cup cake.

Why perform War and Cake?

  • Laugh-out-loud comedy about the uselessness and stupidity of war

  • War and Cake won highly commended in the 2014 Trinity College International  Playwriting Competition

  • The competition adjudicator noted, in particular, the stand-out comedy and witty wordplay.
  • Simple to stage, yet challenging to perform

  • Requires some comedic timing to make the most of the script's potential for laughs.

  • A cupcake is involved and is crucial to the plot. 

The Cost

Price
Script + photocopying rights £10
PR 1 performance £12
PR multiple performances £40

Interested?

I am committed to making our plays as affordable as possible! As you can see from the pricing.
The download link takes you to the War & Cake page on the ARTS ON THE MOVE website - which is full of plays and drama resources.
You can also CONTACT me directly to purchase.

Artwork by Emma Beebee Art - link to Instagram